Late last evening, I wrote an extra post including yesterday's poem and some wise revision suggestions from master poet and anthologist Lee Bennett Hopkins who has been my generous teacher for several years.
Today I feel fortunate to welcome my teacher back as he shares his thoughts on today's poem. Below you will see the original poem followed by Lee's suggestions followed by the revised poem based on Lee's revisions.
Today I feel fortunate to welcome my teacher back as he shares his thoughts on today's poem. Below you will see the original poem followed by Lee's suggestions followed by the revised poem based on Lee's revisions.
Students and Teachers - I encourage you to look at these two drafts carefully together, noticing how the deletion of one word or one line can strengthen a whole poem. One thing Lee has taught me is that "less is more", a lesson I need to learn and relearn.
Again and again, Lee teaches me the importance of spacing. In this revised version, notice how how the repeated words door and rope are centered, thus highlighting the repeated movement. Notice, too, which lines are are lighter, leaner.
Thank you, Lee Bennett Hopkins, for your generosity in sharing your insights with me - and with students and teachers - today.
If you try this, revising your own poem by deleting unnecessary words, we would love to hear about it. If you're a teacher-writer or if you have a student who has tried such revision, please share...about the experience or even the poems before-and-after!
(Please click on COMMENTS below to share a thought.)
